Dialogue Fan Gifts

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"No, it's not my birthday, either."

'First you come down, then we talk.'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID MAMET

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

'As I see it, it's a toss-up between a Belgian data processing machine and an American electronic computer.'

"And in a five-to-four decision today the United States Supreme Court rule that atheits may not barred from foxholes."

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

The Conservative majority in parliament leaves the Liberal party powerless

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."

Political Analysis

Impeachment

"With the whole world in NATO, we won't have to take any more crap from Mars."

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

'So...who do you think you will vote for?'

'Actually it's not the first time I've seen a political candidate do that.'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

Chuck Schumer

Vote For Me: The winning over of voters.

The partisan cafe