Dialogue Fan Gifts

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"No, it's not my birthday, either."

'First you come down, then we talk.'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

Exciting potato bugs.

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID MAMET

"And in a five-to-four decision today the United States Supreme Court rule that atheits may not barred from foxholes."

'As I see it, it's a toss-up between a Belgian data processing machine and an American electronic computer.'

I've founded my own religion. Of course you have, Rudy. It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths. If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted. What are the central tenets of your religion? A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation.

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

The Conservative majority in parliament leaves the Liberal party powerless

I've been scouting new locations for the strip. Great. We can certainly use some. Have you found anything exciting so far? Yes. A bench on the other side of the park. It has a trash can in the background.

"With the whole world in NATO, we won't have to take any more crap from Mars."

Impeachment

Political Analysis

'So...who do you think you will vote for?'

News and Magazines. Record Debt. Dollar Down. How can the dollar be weak when we've been giving it such a good workout?

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."

The George Bush Library Tour.

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'Actually it's not the first time I've seen a political candidate do that.'

Two Americas

The partisan cafe