Discussion Fan Gifts

'For now, just watch it -- we can dissect the plot later!'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"At least we agree to disagree."

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

"Of course I'm responsible for that marketing plan, but you're responsible for how it turned out!"

'As I see it, it's a toss-up between a Belgian data processing machine and an American electronic computer.'

"And in a five-to-four decision today the United States Supreme Court rule that atheits may not barred from foxholes."

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

"C'mon, Hillary – just answer the question!"

The Conservative majority in parliament leaves the Liberal party powerless

Political Analysis

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."

"I wish you'd stop obsessively checking your feed!"

Impeachment

'So...who do you think you will vote for?'

'Actually it's not the first time I've seen a political candidate do that.'

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

'Must be some way we can blame that on Obama. . .'

The partisan cafe

"We have broken the stalemate and the U.S. government is again open for business!!"

Vote For Me: The winning over of voters.

Chuck Schumer