Political Discourse Fan Gifts

Political Analysis

"Given a choice they'd rather a good red... the blood of capitalists!"

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

"Putin's prime critic was killed. That would never happen in U.S. politics, because nothing gets done here!"

"And in a five-to-four decision today the United States Supreme Court rule that atheits may not barred from foxholes."

'As I see it, it's a toss-up between a Belgian data processing machine and an American electronic computer.'

I've founded my own religion. Of course you have, Rudy. It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths. If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted. What are the central tenets of your religion? A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation.

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

The Conservative majority in parliament leaves the Liberal party powerless

The Last Republican in America

Impeachment

'So...who do you think you will vote for?'

The Real Crime is Not the Crime We Care About

The George Bush Library Tour.

Whatever Happened to Basic Standards at Newspapers?

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."

News remote

US recommendation for Middle East peacemaking.

"Resistance" Democrats Promise Bipartisanship with the Same Republicans They Called Scum

'Actually it's not the first time I've seen a political candidate do that.'

Bring on the Crazy

'Must be some way we can blame that on Obama. . .'

Chuck Schumer

"We have broken the stalemate and the U.S. government is again open for business!!"

Get Over It, You Remoaners!

Two Americas

..anarchists, terrorists, radicals and looters will tear down our great country

In doctor's surgery: 'I'm terribly worried, doctor...he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly anymore.'

The delegitimization effort.