Diagnosis Journey Gifts

"Your tests came back negative. But don't give us hope. If we run some more tests, we'll eventually find something."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Heading off with a packed bag

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

Burnout Syndrome...

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

Man reads note, which reads: Have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I don't know where your dinner is.

Attack of the 'health' foods

Rainbow/Horizon

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

"I’d like to return my Fitbit—It won’t stop calling me a lazy piece of sh*t."

"Great, now we're lost."

"These quiet walks in the park remind me of what a psycho you were before you started taking the meds."

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

'Therapy always works best in a safe environment ... such as your old tree house.'

"Father was a tyrant."

"We can't go on, year after year, reliving the French revolution."

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

'Nothing seems funny anymore.'

'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in school.'

"You're starting to look like your old self again."