Diagnosis Journey T-Shirts

"Your tests came back negative. But don't give us hope. If we run some more tests, we'll eventually find something."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Heading off with a packed bag

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

Burnout Syndrome...

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

Man reads note, which reads: Have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I don't know where your dinner is.

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

"I’d like to return my Fitbit—It won’t stop calling me a lazy piece of sh*t."

Attack of the 'health' foods

"Great, now we're lost."

"These quiet walks in the park remind me of what a psycho you were before you started taking the meds."

Rainbow/Horizon

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

'Therapy always works best in a safe environment ... such as your old tree house.'

"You're starting to look like your old self again."

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in school.'

"We can't go on, year after year, reliving the French revolution."

'Nothing seems funny anymore.'

"Father was a tyrant."

Surprise Party