Devoted Jokester Pillows

"For you. Straight from the top."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Priest with the Pet Devil.

"You think it's tough down there?"

Men dancing

Lesbians for Christ

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

Leaving cards.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

"You idiots … we lost!"

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

'Tender and Juicy.'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'... and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those dang meddling kids... that and my incredibly stupid plan. Also in retrospect, I realize my costume was, regrettably, quite lame.'

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer