Serious Jokester Pillows

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Politics Books

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

A crab with a utility knife claw

Men dancing

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

"You idiots … we lost!"

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

Unselfish by nature - he delights to show the novice where the big chub cruise...and where the best pike lie.

The disgusting, embarrassing sound of a whoopie cushion...

"You remind me very much of myself when I was your age, Carter, and there is no way that this company would employ such a person."

'... and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those dang meddling kids... that and my incredibly stupid plan. Also in retrospect, I realize my costume was, regrettably, quite lame.'

'Tender and Juicy.'

Interrupted Shower.