Serious Jokester Pillows

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Politics Books

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

A crab with a utility knife claw

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

Men dancing

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

"You idiots … we lost!"

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

The disgusting, embarrassing sound of a whoopie cushion...

"We need someone who's responsible."

"You remind me very much of myself when I was your age, Carter, and there is no way that this company would employ such a person."

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."