Devil-may-care Dieter Gifts

"You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"You've got to eat less, exercise more and try to stay out of trouble. You're not fit to stand trial."

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

Whatever!

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'So, how did the crash diet go?'

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

"Why don't we skip the falafel bar, Sinbad."

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

Genie.

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

Devil driving a convertible with many tailpipes

'This new diet drug comes as a pill, patch, or as a phone app with Siri saying, don't eat so much.'

'Frankly, the diet I'm putting you on will include things that you probably wouldn't consider 'food' as such.'

"It's our most effective diet plan - Hugo, here, follows you around with a stomach pump!"

"Wheat bran, prunes and black coffee for breakfast?! What was I thinki — oh, noooo..."

Fast food trap.

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

"I'm taking you off the fish diet."

"The I'm Going Off My Diet special comes with a side order of Guilt."