Detox Devotee T-Shirts

'Hmmm... I'm not sure... What's the best blend for a coffee enema?'

Well that's me detoxed!

"How long do you think it'll take before he realizes I took his phone away?"

"How is the detox going?"

"Can I get back to you? I'm eliminating toxins."

"I feel naked without my phone."

'Actually, I'm de-toxing at the moment.'

"Let's have a detox binge!!"

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

Be Healthy

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'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

"Listen, pal, they're all emergencies."

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'