Desk Sitter Gifts

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"Morning, all!"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

Time for More Paperwork

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Lumbar support animal

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

National Boss Monument.

"I feel your pain."

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

In case of emergency, break glass.

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.