Desk Researcher Gifts

'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

In basket-case.

Overworked in the office

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

The Great Pyramid of Paperwork

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

"Miss Ross, get me a motivational speaker."

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

"I really start dragon around 3 o'clock."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

Whack, Out of Whack.

If I had sleeves, I'd roll them up...

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"I know, but all promises are off when Daddy's writing his grant proposals."

"Time to do it in!"

"The first of many cubicles..."

Office zombie.

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

"Yes, I know, Munger. But Wallace Stevens didn't scribble his damned verses on company time."

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

IN, More IN (man working at desk)

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

Frustrated at the office.

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'