Desk Researcher T-Shirts

'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

In basket-case.

Overworked in the office

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

The Great Pyramid of Paperwork

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"Miss Ross, get me a motivational speaker."

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"I really start dragon around 3 o'clock."

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

Finger on the Z Key

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

If I had sleeves, I'd roll them up...

Whack, Out of Whack.

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"I know, but all promises are off when Daddy's writing his grant proposals."

"Time to do it in!"

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Yes, I know, Munger. But Wallace Stevens didn't scribble his damned verses on company time."

"The first of many cubicles..."

Office zombie.

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

IN, More IN (man working at desk)

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'

"I'm sure you do spend all your time here at the office, but could you please stop having your mail delivered here?"