Desk Writer T-Shirts

"Yes, I know, Munger. But Wallace Stevens didn't scribble his damned verses on company time."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

In basket-case.

Overworked in the office

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

Shake it all about sign on desk

In case of emergency, break glass.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

The Great Pyramid of Paperwork

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"Miss Ross, get me a motivational speaker."

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

"I really start dragon around 3 o'clock."

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

Working 9 to 5.

Finger on the Z Key

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

If I had sleeves, I'd roll them up...

Whack, Out of Whack.

"He said his screen is frozen again."

'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'

"I know, but all promises are off when Daddy's writing his grant proposals."

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.