Desk Job Philosopher Gifts

'The only problem with having a laptop is you need a lap!'

'Sigh...'

"It seems that Parker left behind some of his personal demons."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

Out and In.

'T.M.I.F.'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

Office slaves.

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

"We're all just a number here, Finch, and fortunately my number is one."

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

"We do all those old tricks electronically now."