Desk Jockey Philosopher Gifts

'People are divided into two classes...those in the swim and those in the soup.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"Morning, all!"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Time for More Paperwork

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Lumbar support animal

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

National Boss Monument.

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

"I feel your pain."

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

Work Slave

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"They don't pull their punches here, do they."

Busy office.