Desert Stories Fan Gifts

"Yo are the spitting image of your father when he was your age."

"Meet the author"

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

The americanisation of vulture.

"Valet park only"

~ S.O.S.

Drawing on an island.

"I liked this camel. I'm gonna miss him. I'm getting all choked up."

"I could have sworn Arizona was landlocked."

"May I suggest hard a-starboard, or port, or whatever!"

Depressed Cactus

Ship in a Bottle

'Good news is that after two weeks buried in this desert, nobody will call us 'Paleface' anymore!'

"Happy slime trails to you, until we meet again!"

'Uh, Jake, I believe that should be 'and the skies are not cloudy all day,' not 'and we pour ourselves more Chardonnary.''

'I'm sorry, Frank, but I think I need some space.'

Cactus Uses An Umbrella When Raining.

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

"Personally I think he over does the self grooming."

'Welcome to Arizona,,,bring your own water'

Proposed Site for New Three Storey Mirage

All the other camels paid Edna alot more attention after she got her implants...

"He's the strong, silent type."

Desert crawler rescued by truck that won't start.

"What? No Vanilla?"

'Swimming back to the mainland to see some football game is stupid. Besides you're so out of shape, you wouldn't get 10 feet.'

"A full stomach and a sunny spot: that, my boy, is the secret of happiness..."

'Her and her silicone implants!'

'…dial tone…dial tone…dial tone…'

Desert - Steep Hill sign.

'I'm just sayin', we're supposed to be harbingers of death, Jerry, so take off that stupid hat!'

'Inexpensive organic food! ... Inexpensive organic food!'

"While here, you'll have to try our food desert, too!"

'Fortunately I know how to make a napoles salad but it'll cost you 14.95.'

'That's all very well - but just suppose everybody decided to take 'just one bloody miserable bucket of sand'?'