Department Store Explorer T-Shirts

"Main floor, aisle six, ladies' scarves. Shopper down."

"North face of Everest: howling winds, sub-zero cold, insufficient oxygen, menswear."

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

"How soon will this be a remnant

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

'The Lemming Book Store'

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"I'm part of the problem and loving it!"

Sumo Love.

Unusual Offers

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

Apple section of supermarket - 'Granny Smith's'.

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

Author Reading Today: 'Typos I missed when correcting proofs.'

Book store has a book called 'Mind Games,' which is floating magically in the air.

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

New must reading for the rising executive: '7 Habits of Highly Obsequious People.'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

"Ah! I see you've found a cold beer to your liking, sir."

Sign on a sale bin at a bookstore that reads "Latte-Damaged Books".

"No, we're not buying that cereal - do you know how much sugar it contains?! Not nearly enough!"

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

The Old Curiosity Shop

Plane Yogurt.