Shopping Center Explorer T-Shirts

'Do these stairs seem unusually long to you?'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"I'm part of the problem and loving it!"

Unusual Offers

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

Apple section of supermarket - 'Granny Smith's'.

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

"Baldo, Gracie...you need to learn more Spanish. For the rest of the week, I'm going to speak nothing but Spanish, and Tia Carmen will act as your interpreter, OK? Tienen tarea?"

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

You are Here. We know where you've been.

"Ah! I see you've found a cold beer to your liking, sir."

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.

Mall of ages

"No, we're not buying that cereal - do you know how much sugar it contains?! Not nearly enough!"

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

Sign on a sale bin at a bookstore that reads "Latte-Damaged Books".

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'Would you stop with the Twitter alerts already? I'm standing right behind you.'

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

The Old Curiosity Shop

"Now hold on just a minute! Salad - fine! Chick flix - fine! But I draw the line on video games!"

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

Plane Yogurt.