Shopping Center Wanderer T-Shirts

Skeleton on an out of order escalator.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"I shop, therefore I am."

See you at the farmers market!

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

Customer Convention

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

Island of Lost Guys.

"This planet doesn't stand a chance."

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

Man sees book flying in the Mystery section.

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

Sketches by Boz - Monmouth Street

"I LOVE you more than old people love to pay for everything in exact change."

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."

'I just read 'Moby Dick'...do you have anymore 'whale hate' literature?'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

'Dealing with Stress, Cooking for Forty and Nightmare Families. Christmas reading?'

Man sees where he's at and he's 'Where It's Not At'

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

'Iambic tetrameter? Isn't that one of those conditions that's now an official disease?'

Placier.

"Avez-vous Cocoa Puffs?"

Olives

'Fruits, vegetables, herbs, spices, nuts, berries, roots, tubers, stems, leaves.'

Vegicurious

"I'm looking for a book on how to raise kids easily, but I can't seem to find it anywhere..."