Dental Procedure Gifts

'You'll be a new man after this procedure.' 'Good, send my bill to the new man.'

'Get them whitened? It took me $50,000 and five thousand bottles to get them this way.'

"He had his teeth whitened."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

The tooth fairy.

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'What kind of filling would you like?'

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

Love conquers all, except plaque.

Shark with Braces.

Improvised Dentistry.

'The $75 for floss wasn't for his teeth... we had to tie him to the chair.'

Toothless Meal

'Oddly, few archaeologist comment on the flossing habits of Easter Island inhabitants.'

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

"The colonoscopy isn't your eternal punishment...the prep is."

Facelift Book.

"Wait, I'm texting the tooth fairy...I always like to keep her informed of these visits."

Car Dentistry.

1688: Pirate Dentistry - "Say ARR!"

"Let's take it again from the top...but this time with more fillings."