Dental Care Avoider Gifts

A man scared of dentists has taped his mouth shut.

'Somebody's here who'd like you to spend 30 days on an island with 1,000 dentists and some pain pills.'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

Toothbrush Romance

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

Tooth fairy

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

'Oddly, few archaeologist comment on the flossing habits of Easter Island inhabitants.'

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

Car Dentistry.

"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'

'And here's the toolkit.'

'I'm terribly sorry, I don't have any time now. Please call my secretary to make an appointment.'

'Tony can't come out to play now, he's on his orthodontopole!'

The Tooth Ferret

"So you admit to flashing your new teeth at pretty ladies?"

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."

It took awhile for fred and his new dentures to accept each other.

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

'If you don't stop biting your nails, you're going to ruin your teeth.'

"My Mom says that's what happens if you eat too much Halloween candy."

'I'm looking for a toothpaste that combats Tokyo, Kansas city and Suburban Portland along the gum line.'