Dental Chair Avoider Gifts

Save a trip to the dentist! We sell random magazines!

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

"I can skip my bath. On the way home I jumped in all the puddles."

'I'm terribly sorry, I don't have any time now. Please call my secretary to make an appointment.'

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'If you don't stop biting your nails, you're going to ruin your teeth.'

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

Do' you have the time?'

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

'It's not that I'm stupid. I'm lactose intolerant and on a diet.'

The Sedentary Dead.

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

"Okay, we've put on our exercise clothes. Now what?"

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

'His electric toothbrush has gone wrong - mind you, he could use the extra exercise.'

Walkies.

Oil man gets oil for his car directly from oil well.

'I don't need to exercise to lose weight. The odor in this locker room suppressed all my appetite.'

There's leftover apple crisp! Whoever finishes it up, please clean the baking dish. Hey! It's not finished!!

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, My husband hates to exercise since it makes him sweat. How do I tell him to shape up? Thanks, SV. *Actual reader question. Haven't you read the scientific research, lady? Exercise is one of the worst things you can do for you body. It leads to pain, sweating, muscle ache, weight loss. On the other hand, research also shows the great health value of yelling at your husband and telling him he's a lazy wretch! The science is divided on the question. One of the great joys of b

'Boy, I feel sorry for those poor chumps who have to run to catch the train every day!'