Demonology Amateur Gifts

Meowlzebub

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"We need to think outside the pentangle."

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

"...it's another metal detector."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'What really annoys me is that they're not even my demons - they're Goya's and Hieronymus Bosch's and Brueghel's.'

I demand to see a lawyer. May I say, you've come to the right place.

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

"Can I see that 'National Law Journal' when you're through with it?"

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

"Oh no! - we forgot to pay the exorcist... we've been repossessed!!"

Hellbillies.

"Running out for lawyers and CEOs. Want anything?"

I'm sorry, Dick. I think we should start seeing other demons.

"Gracie, I'm getting way tired of your Jane Goodall routine!"

Descartes's Demon

"Yes, I have worked with Donald Trump's hair."

"My name's Karezog, Despoiler of Worlds, Devourer of Souls. I'll be your server tonight."

'Get me Hell, Miss Saunders. I wish to sell my soul.'

Dave began to suspect that he had moved next door to the neighbour from hell.

"Hey - are those scented candles???"

"Personally, I think the world would be a safer place if everybody owned a rock."

Evolution

'At least it's a dry heat'

"Oh, by the way, as you were on your way down here your lottery ticket won seventeen million dollars."

"I met somebody with a hut."

Excercising demons

'Careful, this plate isn't hot.'

"What are you lookin' at? Never seen a routine fire drill before?"

"Yeah but he wasn't just the devourer of souls, he also created lots of jobs!"

'Dearest, do you smell something not burning?'

Mudlarking

'Don't answer the door. It's probably Charlie Sheen.'

'WHOA Look out, you idiot You almost walked under a ladder'