Delusional Dynamics Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Since I also believe you are a rabbit, Mr Curtlow, I am uncertain as to how to proceed.'

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

Compression

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

"O.K., if you put it that way."

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

Desk sign: 'Brown-nose'.

'I've never had to butter up the boss. I've always been the boss.'

'I have power - but it's not the kind that's easy to abuse.'

"There's no need to go round the table - I know who I am."

'I need you to be more MORE DECISIVE when agreeing with me.'

The Modern Damocles -

Little man in big man's pocket.

"A few of the staff are still a little unsure of their roles in the company...so here's a quick recap."

Core Business.

Russian and Chinese Influences in Afghanistan

"I don't do intimidation"

'Was there any further criticism om my proposal?'

Female Dominance.

"I love an exchange of views, walk in with yours and leave with mine."

'There's no interest on your purchase for a year. Then we become VERY interested in your balance after that.'

'You can't be CEO, I am!'

'Works for me.' (picture of big fish swallowing smaller fish.)

'I will of course yield to whomever agrees with me.'

"If I can control everyone around me it would help my damaged self esteem."

"And this, Wilcox, is my reality."

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

Today's alpha-lesson is called "Always Jujutsu the Suspense." If someone says "I've got a great idea" and then pauses to create suspense, that's a power-move. They want you to beg them to continue. The alpha counter-move in this case is simple. Use the suspense-monger's suspense against them: say absolutely nothing.* *This move should never, ever be applied in the boudoir.

'You're a spineless, craven, frightened little man, Bradberg - I like that in an employee.'