Delivery Diva T-Shirts

'What - No lift?!'

'Your package has to be in Kansas City by Friday? - Well, aren't YOU a needy fellow!'

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

La Table

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"I come here for the pepper."

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

'Hurry up: We've sprung a leak!'

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"Larry never gains an ounce!"

"Today's special is we'll pull the plug on the jukebox if someone else's music annoys you."

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"More croutons, sir?"

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

"Of course I mind—they're mine, and I want all of them."