Delivery Diva T-Shirts

'What - No lift?!'

'Your package has to be in Kansas City by Friday? - Well, aren't YOU a needy fellow!'

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

La Table

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"I come here for the pepper."

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

'Hurry up: We've sprung a leak!'

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"Larry never gains an ounce!"

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"Today's special is we'll pull the plug on the jukebox if someone else's music annoys you."

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"More croutons, sir?"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

'Who orderes the roasted chicken plate and who ordered the soup?'

"Of course I mind—they're mine, and I want all of them."

"The butter-poached lobster with melted leeks and horseradish creme fraiche...you want that in a wrap?"