Delay Humorist Pillows

Meet Hank C. Muffle, award winning author of the best lame excuses for train and plane delays!

Notice at Train Station - 'It Is Better To Travel Hopefully Than To Arrive'.

"Owing to cutbacks the 20.19 service will not arrive until 2021 - probably about June."

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"The Eggsorcist"

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"I'll check and see if he's available."

'Does this mean you won't be coming back on Monday?'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

'Sorry son, I bought you an ice-cream at the corner shop, but it melted on the way home...'

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

'Is that the trebuchet?'

Cartooning

"Okay, maybe we should count assembling the exercise bike as your first workout."

I'm not retired yet...I'm just practicing.

Artist's model for a painting of Hamlet turns up to the studio with a black eye

Death model.

Train Arrivals

Convergent Fauna

!I haven't a clue what they are, but I don't like the look of them."

'Violin in the shape of a nude.'

Artist, sitting in front of a sign identifying a bridge as a draw bridge, draws the bridge.

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

IRS. They are both inevitable but at least the IRS grants extensions.