Distance Humorist Pillows

"Oh. Sorry for yelling. I thought you were much farther away."

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Football Chameleon

Fist Bumper Cars

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Guitar pickin'

Double Saxophone

Rap-scallions

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Edward Elgar.

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

Dr. Phil takes it home.

No Instruments Please

"Ding" "Dong"

'Never mind singing it in rap...a simple 'I do' will suffice.''

"Y'know, sooner or later we're going to have to let her go out unaccompanied."

"There can be no doubt. This proves it. We gotta have more cow bell."