Distance Humorist T-Shirts

"Oh. Sorry for yelling. I thought you were much farther away."

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Football Chameleon

Atomic Bear: Part 21

Fist Bumper Cars

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

Radiator jazz player

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Guitar pickin'

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

Rap-scallions

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

Double Saxophone

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Edward Elgar.

'Never mind singing it in rap...a simple 'I do' will suffice.''

No Instruments Please

Dr. Phil takes it home.

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"Ding" "Dong"

"Y'know, sooner or later we're going to have to let her go out unaccompanied."

Now, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto.