Degree Dilettante Pillows

'Mr. Doan says he has a bachelor's degree, but I happen to know he's married.'

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

Mrs. H.G.Wells.

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"My husband is ambidextrous....completely useless with either hand!"

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

The singles bar...

Rusty and Molly's first date was going beautifully until the 'car tyre incident.

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

"You know who's a big pain in the a*s? Europe."

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'

"I don't care what his name was. When I said I needed a Philips head, I meant a screwdriver you idiot!"

"You are headed south. Your destination is straight ahead."

"Why is living my best life so fattening?"

Teddy Roosevelt Institute. "Walk softly and carry a big stick." Charm school. Harm school.

Prisoner to other: 'But what I actually ended up doing was consolidating all my debts into one ten-year sentence.'

I had a great time tonight, and I'd like to see you again in 4-6 months. When doctors date.

'I sure hope this 'timeout' thing is just a phase with Mom.'

"I spilled the beans last night so I wouldn't have to eat them."

Time Out Room

'You don't do faith healing do you?'

"So how was your date with Smiley?"

'Dressage? But Son, what about something more virile like Rodeo or Polo?'

Winooski - A camp for sort of gifted boys.

Novice plumbers replacing a washer in a leaky faucet.

'If you want somewhere quiet and without crowds...I recommend Greece.'

'Lucifer casts out into Hell'