Divinity Dilettante Pillows

'Are you SURE that you didn't say a little prayer before you had your turn?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 2

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

The singles bar...

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'

Angels aren't lackeys - do thine own work.

The Man sits with 2 devils on his shoulders.

Prisoner to other: 'But what I actually ended up doing was consolidating all my debts into one ten-year sentence.'

"This next one goes to a special someone who stole my soul... literally!"

'I sure hope this 'timeout' thing is just a phase with Mom.'

Time Out Room

"You are headed south. Your destination is straight ahead."

'You don't do faith healing do you?'

'Dressage? But Son, what about something more virile like Rodeo or Polo?'

'If you want somewhere quiet and without crowds...I recommend Greece.'

Winooski - A camp for sort of gifted boys.

'Lucifer casts out into Hell'

IRS. Pay Taxes Here. It's the amount owe

'I don't need a GPS. I'm guided by greed.'

'I asked them to behave like adults, and they ranted, they raved, and they cussed a blue streak!'

'Harold has been complaining about loose dentures lately.'

Surviving the credit storm.

"I like to sit here and look at all the things I don't have."

'College textbooks sure are expensive. Luckily, I saved a fortune by using eTexts. Now I have to see if I can buy used eTexts.'

"We had special places in hell but what with the influx of baby boomers we're putting people wherever we can."

Kid in corner to parent: 'When will I be eligible for parole?'

'I finally just told my spiritual advisor and my financial advisor to fight it out and I'll listen to whoever wins.'

Demon with his tail caught in the holy book of an unaware monk

Man and dog puzzled by blank signpost

'We'll have to eat out tonight - the meatloaf turned on me.'

'Mr. Doan says he has a bachelor's degree, but I happen to know he's married.'

"Well, how was I supposed to know the other driver wasn't going to turn left?!"