Dentistry Dilettante Pillows

'Harold has been complaining about loose dentures lately.'

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

Garlic Free Zone.

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'House wine?'

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

Macho Vegetarian

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

Mrs. H.G.Wells.

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"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

A "half-life" is the time it takes for a quantity of a radioactive material to be cut in half by decay. In each successive half-life period, the quantity is halved again. Half-life length varies widely form element to element. Eating healthier is a common new year's resolution. Our data shows breaking this resolution follows a curve like those seen with nuclear decay. As of yesterday about ten percent of those who made the resolution this year are still sticking to it. We calculated the re

"Oh come on!... How can I only have lost two ounces?!"

'Since we modified your daughter's digital cellular structure, she's experienced a lot of ringing in her ears. If you need me to check her status, I'll be on call.'

"Tell me again how well your low sodium diet is going."