Dietary Dilettante Pillows

'The only problem being a Beefeater is that I'm a vegetarian.'

Bernice prepares her pantry for gluten-free cooking

'You have what we in the medical profession call an enlarged appetite.'

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

Garlic Free Zone.

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'House wine?'

Too Skinny, Too Fat

Macho Vegetarian

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

'Normally, seafood is good for you.'

'That's our most effective weight-loss patch.'

"I hate this smart refrigerator."

"A flake? I told you I'm on a diet."

The Salvador Deli

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

'You know full well, your gastric band won't work if you keep eating spaghetti like that!'

"You'll never lose weight if you don't stop nibbling at your desk."

"Tell me again how well your low sodium diet is going."

"Past performance is no guarantee of future results."

'Erm...I ordered the omlette!'

'I'm sorry sir, we have 'diet cola' and 'diet lemonade', but not 'diet blood'.'