Dressage Dilettante Pillows

'Dressage? But Son, what about something more virile like Rodeo or Polo?'

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

The Salvador Deli

"My husband is ambidextrous....completely useless with either hand!"

"I dunno. It just doesn't "feel" like a diaper."

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'

"Why is living my best life so fattening?"

Prisoner to other: 'But what I actually ended up doing was consolidating all my debts into one ten-year sentence.'

'I sure hope this 'timeout' thing is just a phase with Mom.'

Time Out Room

'You don't do faith healing do you?'

'I don't need a GPS. I'm guided by greed.'

Novice plumbers replacing a washer in a leaky faucet.

'If you want somewhere quiet and without crowds...I recommend Greece.'

"Finding a big enough venue for the partner conference wasn't easy...eventually we had to settle on Las Vegas!"

'Lucifer casts out into Hell'

Man paints himself into corner.

"...I have no idea how to make cheese."

'I asked them to behave like adults, and they ranted, they raved, and they cussed a blue streak!'

Bark bark bark bark

Surviving the credit storm.

"I like to sit here and look at all the things I don't have."

'Harold has been complaining about loose dentures lately.'

'If you must give me withering glances, could you focus on me and spare the plants?'

'What happened between design and development?'

Kid in corner to parent: 'When will I be eligible for parole?'

Demon with his tail caught in the holy book of an unaware monk

"Aeschylus is good, I suppose, but I go to the theatre to relax."

Man and dog puzzled by blank signpost

Vibes: Good/Badl