Dental Dilettante Pillows

'You don't do faith healing do you?'

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

Garlic Free Zone.

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'House wine?'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

Mrs. H.G.Wells.

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

'Since we modified your daughter's digital cellular structure, she's experienced a lot of ringing in her ears. If you need me to check her status, I'll be on call.'

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

"My husband is ambidextrous....completely useless with either hand!"

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

Rusty and Molly's first date was going beautifully until the 'car tyre incident.

"'Scuse me, Officer, but where do the elite meet to eat around here?"

"You know who's a big pain in the a*s? Europe."