Degree Decipherer Gifts

'I didn't know 'Businessish Management' was something you could get a degree in.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'School of hard knocks.'

Graduate

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

Day one, post grad

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

Infographics: the early years.

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

Welcome! University of Hard Knocks...Where common sense is better than smarts!

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

'My son has college degrees in psychology, economics and political science. He can't get a job but at least he knows why.'

No room to hang his diploma.

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

' I see that you have a B.A. degree in stapling and collating. Your parents must be very proud of you.'

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

More Education Needed

"He thinks he's so smart with his 360 degrees!"

"Terrific - degrees from the macaroni institute and the cheese academy."

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

'I told you - they'll send me all these impressive looking diplomas when I pay off my student debt!'

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

"Here it is -- my E-school diploma coming off the printer!"