Degree Decipherer Gifts

'I didn't know 'Businessish Management' was something you could get a degree in.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'School of hard knocks.'

Graduate

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

Day one, post grad

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

Welcome! University of Hard Knocks...Where common sense is better than smarts!

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

'My son has college degrees in psychology, economics and political science. He can't get a job but at least he knows why.'

No room to hang his diploma.

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

' I see that you have a B.A. degree in stapling and collating. Your parents must be very proud of you.'

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

'I told you - they'll send me all these impressive looking diplomas when I pay off my student debt!'

"Terrific - degrees from the macaroni institute and the cheese academy."

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

"Here it is -- my E-school diploma coming off the printer!"

And if you go for your Masters', we'll throw in your PH.D. at no extra charge.