Deduction Diva Gifts

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Sales - "For the last time, stop saving us money." (Colour)

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

Baby dressed for the opera.

'After years of studying the apes I've finally found a way of being accepted into their group.'

The quarantine self cut.

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'

How much would you take off for cash?

"How much is the sign?"

"We're getting somewhere now. This is the exact opposite of what I want."

"You're just in time for our 'post Christmas, pre Autumn alternate Tuesday in August late season Sale!'"

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

Bargains

DIY pedicure

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

'I'd like to overwhelm them with instructional excellence, but I'm not above winning through intimidation.'

"So with 50% sale discount, plus the 30% early bird reduction, a 10% bonus for paying in full and a $100 cash back... we owe you $1.75"