Defensive Diva Gifts

Jennifer Felt Perfectly Safe Walking Through the Park at Night with Her Handy Cast-Iron Baguette.

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

University Soapflakes

Madame Rejane- Famous French Actress in the Part of Madame Sans Gene

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

William Shakespeare

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

Ruff

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

How would Madam like to pay?

'I need it in a size two for now and a size five for when I put on my rebound weight.'

Baby dressed for the opera.

'After years of studying the apes I've finally found a way of being accepted into their group.'

'Boy that Donna BUGS me! Every party she goes to, she ALWAYS has to make a grand entrance!'

"All right, let's do it again. This time, you're good at acting."

I guess I outta take science classes if I'm really going to help the environment. What for? You want to be a famous actress

June Brown

'Forget equal ops, darling, we're searching for a female Maria.'

"I'm not whining."

Cut out and keep your own Wardrobe Assistant.

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

'I'd like to overwhelm them with instructional excellence, but I'm not above winning through intimidation.'

Amber Laura Heard

'Well, this explains everything. You've been bitten by the acting bug!'

"I admire the way you avoided that radar trap."

"No Jake, you promised you'd given up the gun."

Montserrat Caballé

"Your father's upset because I've been autocorrecting him."

'Mr Thurber, come at me like you're going to sexually harass me!'

'You precisely said 'straight over at the roundabout'. You didn't say anything about going around it.'

Alison Pill