Decoration Addict Pillows

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"I love these old decorations!"

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Posh Easter Egg

Francoise Gilot

This is the first time I've been on the top management floor.

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

Doulton Canada Geese

Santa's Party Trick - mishap with decoration juggling.

King Madras

'Yes,I did bag him from a treestand.How did you guess?'

"Hang on- I'm receiving a textured message."

Robotic Flower Arranging

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"Room for bigger presents."

'The holidays are about to be thrust upon us, Edgar, are you prepared?'

"We need to talk."

Man who has called of his engagement because his fiancée did not match his furniture.

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

'They had a sale on electric green.'

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

'The old one fell apart.'

'I've spent the last 20 years modernising the house and now you say it looks old-fashioned!'

''Midnight in Paris' didn't work in the conference room. Let's try something more vibrant like 'Sunrise Over Wall Street.''

"I've been researching a little furniture company that I'd like to rearrange."

"Norman, let's lend out the Olmec head."