Decoration Addict Gifts

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"I love these old decorations!"

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

Board Game Hunter

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Huh. Where'd all my birthday decorations go???'

Posh Easter Egg

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

King Madras

This is the first time I've been on the top management floor.

Francoise Gilot

Santa's Party Trick - mishap with decoration juggling.

Doulton Canada Geese

'Yes,I did bag him from a treestand.How did you guess?'

"Hang on- I'm receiving a textured message."

Robotic Flower Arranging

"Room for bigger presents."

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

'The holidays are about to be thrust upon us, Edgar, are you prepared?'

Man who has called of his engagement because his fiancée did not match his furniture.

"We need to talk."

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

'They had a sale on electric green.'

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

'I've spent the last 20 years modernising the house and now you say it looks old-fashioned!'

'The old one fell apart.'

Antique silver

"Norman, let's lend out the Olmec head."