Decoration Fanatic Gifts

"Can't you get into the spirit of things?"

"The reconstructive surgery went smoothly but I still get terrible headaches!"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"Get... a-nother room!"

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

Unfinished Funiture Store.

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

Posh Easter Egg

The Best Art Teacher in the World.

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

"Why does the chair always get to chair these meetings?"

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"This was probably an early Father's Day gift."

7 Dwarves of Fatherhood

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."