Decorative Aficionado Gifts

"And this is my pocket."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Cat statues on entrance gate

Cake Free Zone

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"I love these old decorations!"

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

Board Game Hunter

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Huh. Where'd all my birthday decorations go???'

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

Posh Easter Egg

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

Den Furniture

Santa's Party Trick - mishap with decoration juggling.

This is the first time I've been on the top management floor.

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

Doulton Canada Geese

King Madras

'Yes,I did bag him from a treestand.How did you guess?'

"Hang on- I'm receiving a textured message."

Robotic Flower Arranging

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

"We need to talk."

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'