Decorative Furnishings Enthusiast Gifts

"Are you sure these are regulation? It's for a lieutenant stationed at 90 Church Street."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"Man's best friends."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Get... a-nother room!"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

Unfinished Funiture Store.

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

Board Game Hunter

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

Caveman invents an armchair and his dog sits in it.

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"Why does the chair always get to chair these meetings?"

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

Man and woman buying furniture.