Decorative Furnishings Enthusiast Pillows

"Are you sure these are regulation? It's for a lieutenant stationed at 90 Church Street."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"Man's best friends."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Get... a-nother room!"

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

Unfinished Funiture Store.

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

Caveman invents an armchair and his dog sits in it.

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

"Why does the chair always get to chair these meetings?"

Posh Easter Egg

Man and woman buying furniture.

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."