Furniture Aficionados Gifts

"Why did we buy such huge furniture?"

"Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet... Wait, what the heck is a 'tuffet'?! Who says 'tuffet'? Shouldn't it be 'ottoman'?"

The Chest of Drawers Whisperer.

'In the interest of saving time, do you have any pre-shredded ones?'

'Drawer!'

'Now, that's what I call a deathbed!'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Man's best friends."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"Get... a-nother room!"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

Unfinished Funiture Store.

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

Caveman invents an armchair and his dog sits in it.

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

Man and woman buying furniture.

"Why does the chair always get to chair these meetings?"

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"This was probably an early Father's Day gift."