Decorative Aficionado T-Shirts

"And this is my pocket."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Cake Free Zone

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Cat statues on entrance gate

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"I love these old decorations!"

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Posh Easter Egg

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

Den Furniture

Santa's Party Trick - mishap with decoration juggling.

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

Doulton Canada Geese

This is the first time I've been on the top management floor.

King Madras

"Hang on- I'm receiving a textured message."

'Yes,I did bag him from a treestand.How did you guess?'

Robotic Flower Arranging

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

"We need to talk."

"This one will go with everything,

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'