Decoration Aficionado T-Shirts

'It's a surprise present for my husband - He's expecting golf clubs!'

White House Lawn Jockey

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Cat statues on entrance gate

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

Rape of the Lock- The Dream

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"Someday, these will be installed in every home and business that wants to seem artsy."

Fourth Tableau of Das Rheingold

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 1) - Putto Figure in Lower Part of Image Altered for Publication

Posh Easter Egg

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

Man and woman buying furniture.

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Since we've remodeled, you are no longer here.

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

Den Furniture

"We're looking for something more over-the-couch-ish."