Decoration Aficionado Pillows

True, I've seen plenty of padded resumes, but very few bejeweled resumes.

'It's a surprise present for my husband - He's expecting golf clubs!'

White House Lawn Jockey

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

Cat statues on entrance gate

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Rape of the Lock- The Dream

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"Someday, these will be installed in every home and business that wants to seem artsy."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

Board Game Hunter

Fourth Tableau of Das Rheingold

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

Man and woman buying furniture.

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 1) - Putto Figure in Lower Part of Image Altered for Publication

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

Posh Easter Egg

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

Litter Tray Stonehenge

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Since we've remodeled, you are no longer here.