Decorating Aficionado Pillows

"I'll sue you for copyright infringement."

"Never mind the porridge, someone's eaten the wallpaper paste."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

Cake Free Zone

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Cat statues on entrance gate

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

Board Game Hunter

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Posh Easter Egg

Litter Tray Stonehenge

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

Man and woman buying furniture.

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"