Devilish Decor Fan Gifts

'I hear one more person say 'my bad'. I'll wring their neck!'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

'Are you sure energy efficient isn't just a nice way of saying you're not too bright?'

'They had a sale on electric green.'

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

Frontispiece for Beardsley's Erotic Novel 'Venus and Tannhauser'- Not Used in this Form

Satan

'We couldn't agree on the wallpaper.'

Enthralled by the appealing throw pillows, Barry never saw the fighting pillow coming.

'Look at the adorable garden gnome I bought today!!'

'I am sorry about this vicar, but my wife has just had new carpets fitted.'

Tub Canyon

'Hi, and welcome to Home Makeover from Hell.'

'Most people would appreciate having a mural in their home.'

'This should only take a minute. This couple is interested in buying my couch.'

"The reconstructive surgery went smoothly but I still get terrible headaches!"

"No smoking, except in designated Fire and Brimstone areas."

'Dearest, do you smell something not burning?'

"So you saw the kitchen and living room, and this is the zoom background."

"And this is my pocket."

Employee Of The Month

Tacky lawn ornament hunting. (It's a HUGE sport here in the United States!)

"You also get a choice of finishes ? flat, semigloss or satan."

CAT-A-LOG

Halloween

"According to your organ donor card, you gave your soul to me."

'Those tiny speakers in mobile phones that play music...Brilliant.'

"Go get me a visualiser! I'm thinking market meltdown, I'm thinking bail-out suspension!"

Devil buys a fridge (its hot in hell).

"Can't you get into the spirit of things?"