Declaring A Major Gifts

'Son, meet Hard Luck Sammy Fleabeard. He had the same major you're about to declare.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"Oh, this old thing?"

Dating an English Major

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

"What can I say? I was an English major."

"When I go to college, I'm focusing on a STEM area of study!"

VALENTINES: Stuck Like Glue

When English majors become waiters.

Books 'n' Carrots

Business 101

The High School of Music and Art and Economics

"Stop calling everything Kafka-esque

'My son is studying communications in college. He never writes, calls, texts, or emails his parents.'

How about you? Have you picked a major?

"Those who don't study history are doomed to repeat it. Yet those who do study history are doomed to stand by helplessly while everyone else repeats it."

"You don't need to sacrifice good grammar in order to talk dirty."

'As I see it, Pinocchio was motivated by a need to prove himself while both hansel and Gretel were driven by an inborn rebelliousness.'

Highland Pipe Band Drum Major

"Sara, we think you have a Dostoyevsky problem."

'I'd like to change my major from electrical engineering to English or something.'

'You can't take the Ethics course-you're a Political Science major.'

'My son is in college and switched out of engineering into fraternity partying. He days he finds it less intense.'

When English Majors have relationship problems.

'Hey, that's a new ribbon... have you been fighting again?'

"Career plans? I'd like to go to college and major in googling."

Army Promotions Board. You need to select one of these contenders for promotion to lieutenant colonet. It's like being in college. I have to pick a major.

"I don't get it."

Biff majored in business, but minored in mooning...

'I plan to major in political science with a minor in strange bedfellows,'

'Even polymaths, Rodney, have to choose a major.'

'I do still love you, Morton, but there's a subtext.'